You got to move it, move it!

I’ve talked to many moms who have said that babywearing hasn’t worked for them, for one reason or another.  I always kind of want to point out that, like anything else, babywearing is a tool.  It’s meant to help make life easier for you, but you may have to explore ways to make it work.  Babywearing is not necessarily a magic bullet (although for some babies it may be), it requires a little tweaking to figure out what works for you and your baby.

Babywearing has literally saved my life, so I’m a bit of an evangelist on the subject, and I know I am, and try to watch it.  Still, I’m just so enthusiastic about it, and while I don’t judge someone for giving up on it, I always find myself wanting to troubleshoot and figure out how to make things better for them.  Because it is a *tool*, meant to make your life *easier*!  I’m all about making everyones lives easier.

The number one thing that I think people don’t know when they first start babywearing, is that babies being worn want to MOVE.  I was able to wear Bella a few times while doing dishes or cooking, but mostly, that was too static for her.  I needed to move.  So while I was able to get some things done, ie: get her to sleep without losing my sanity as much, it wasn’t like I was Miss Chore-Accomplisher while she was on my back.  Mostly I was usually focused on getting her to sleep.  Sleep, baby, sleep!

That’s how I started vacuuming.  I probably also read this tip on The Babywearer (which is an excellent, amazing resource for moms interested in wearing their babes!), about vacuuming.  Vacuuming while the baby is on your back does a couple of things.  It makes you move, it provides rhythmic movement, it provides sound, and the babe is “swaddled”  (held tightly with fabric) to your body.  It reminds me in many ways of Dr. Karp’s method of the 5 S’s, for soothing colicky babes.  Suck, Swaddle, Side, Sway, and SHHHH.  Well, they don’t get suck or side, but they do get swaddle, sway, and shhhhh, plus your heartbeat, your closeness, your calm.

Some other ideas for moving:  walking the dog, walking up and down stairs (especially if they are squiggling, wiggling, seem uncomfy), walking back and forth in a long hallway (I’ve done this successfully in hotels), and a simple sway, especially with music.  I’ve also done this in hotels, where I’d just darken the room completely, put her on my back, and then stand in the darkest part of the room and sway back and forth.

It’s *saved* me.  I really really mean that.  So if you are a mom at your wits end with a child who won’t sleep, I really recommend giving it another shot even if it hasn’t worked out for you before.  Some things take a little practice, and take some effort, but it is so worth it in the long run.

Edited: September 10th, 2009

Too old?

If a child is too old to breastfeed once they can ask for it…

What about when they say “Mommy, I’m a be sooo excited to see your BOOBIES!”

(Hypothetical, of course… anyone who thinks she is too old can … *ahem*)

Edited: July 5th, 2009

Hmmm, not doing so well…

With this whole posting every day thing, am I? I blame myself, and the lack of a schedule we have around here these days. Bella’s sleep has been all over the place to the point where I literally broke down and cried the other night at 3 am when she would. not. go. to. sleep. Thank goodness for my husband, I need all the help I can get!

But Bella is now and always has been a high needs child. Never a mellow child.

Her latest antics include, if I raise my voice the slightest bit and for any reason (hello, biting my nipple!), she will stand up, stare me dead in the eye, and scream as loud as she can right in my face… “YOU STOP DOIN’ THAT! STOP DOIN’ THAT MOMMY!” It gives new meaning to the phrase “two wrongs don’t make a right.”

On the bright side it’s made me much more aware of my tone of voice, and I try to watch myself and stay more gentle… which is indeed what I prefer anyways. I was raised in a home with lots of yelling and loud people, so I tend to be fairly loud myself even if I’m not angry. I try every day to be a more gentle parent; honestly the “hardass” approach simply does not work with this child, at all, and even though I was raised that way it’s time to learn a new way.

I am not, however, permissive. Today after the aforementioned nipple attack, my subsequent holler, and Bella’s subsequent SCREAMING in my face, I took a few deep breaths and sat her down for a talk. I told her that I did not mean to yell, but that she hurt me and needs to be more careful nursing. I told her that screaming at Mommy like that is not ok and hurts my feelings. She replied with a hug and said that the bite was “a accident.” Sweet angel.

Later at the playground, she came up to me again and said “I sorry yellin’ at you Mommy!”

And again at the bookstore. “I sorry I yelled at you Mommy!”

Think it’s getting through? Now, rinse, lather, repeat times a million!

Who knew that my daughter would be teaching me so much? Who knew that so much of mothering would involve learning how to let go? Let go, and don’t hold a grudge, because how can you against a tempestuous two year old? Let go, and don’t bother making up some big punishment that she cannot understand anyways. Let go, because this is just a phase, and there is a more gentle way to handle it. Just take a deep breath, and let go.

Edited: June 9th, 2009

Spaghetti-o’s…

Tonight I made Bella spaghettio’s, but not like the kind I had growing up! First I sauteed a handful of chopped up spinach and mashed and chopped up roasted carrots in a little butter… then I added a fresh leaf of basil, then threw in the Annie’s “Bernie-O’s.” She loved it and gobbled it up, not even noticing that she was downing spinach and carrots like crazy. Score! I get so excited when I manage something healthy that she will *eat!* Yesterday when I roasted the carrots she would not even taste them, so this was a major coup.

Edited: May 10th, 2009

Waking up gently

Bella got to bed really, really late Sunday night. Actually, she got to bed Monday morning at around 2am! She has had such sleep woes lately. Anyways, we are in our last few weeks of school, so it’s been a priority for me that we go. So I waited… and waited… and waited, the next morning, to wake her. I knew it was going to be tough.
So…
Babywearing to the rescue!
It was 9am, and we need to leave by 9:15 at the latest. I went upstairs, put on my carrier, and grabbed my big strong and sleepy pile of toddler cute, and got her on my back. This of course woke her up some but she was cozy and snug and safe and she was ok with it. So I just walked around getting everything ready and talking to her about our day, and all that we would do… and by the time I took her down at about 9:10, she was ready to get dressed. We were out the door by 9:15, no tears, no muss, no fuss!
I just thought I’d share this as an idea; I know lots of people wear their kids to sleep, as I do, but I haven’t heard of wearing them awake before!

Edited: May 6th, 2009

Post-nap musings….

Bella had just woken from her nap, and we were cuddling and nursing and chatting. Daddy was in the room with us, and I mentioned needing to run to the grocery store, and asked Bella if she wanted to go with me. (Charlie is doing tons of work from home right now and needs the peace.) She looked skeptical, so I thought I’d tempt her with one of her very favorite things… “You could get a balloon!” She looked at me with the most perplexed expression and replied, “But Mommy, I just GOT a yellow balloon!”
Charlie and I laughed until we cried.
She is right, too; we just got a yellow balloon the other day.
Then I said that I needed to get something to make dinner, and my husband asked her what she’d like for dinner. She put one finger on her chin, and said “Hmmmmmmmmmmmm.”
She thought for a minute then said, “I want beans and rice and a spoon and some milk!” I was shocked, as she has never said what she’d like to eat before. Then she touched Charlie’s tummy and said, “You hungry Daddy! You need a soda! You need some beans and rice and milk for your tummy! That make you feel better Daddy!”
She is just talking our ears off lately and she has *so* much to say.
So I came downstairs and made an early feast for my family. White basmati rice, black beans, wagon wheel pasta with a little butter, and a pan full of sauteed veggies to put on top of everything, and a little parmesan on top. Yum.

Edited: May 3rd, 2009